Beginning of the School Year: How to Support and Advocate for your Child at School

It’s been a few weeks into the beginning of the school year. Your child has been in their new classroom, with new peers and new expectations for some time now. You have been receiving emails and notes home from your child’s teacher listing various concerns, ranging from behavioral difficulties to work refusal. How can you be an advocate for your child, while also supporting their teacher?

1.     Remind yourself that your child’s teacher is also their advocate. Most of the time, teachers are doing everything in their power to help their students adjust and feel successful in their new classroom. When teachers feel supported by you, the parents/ guardians, they feel more empowered to continue exploring alternate routes in supporting your child.

2.     Consider the classroom environment. While many classrooms in the U.S. are making strides towards more inclusive experiences, much of what we picture as a “typical classroom” involves rows of desks, a whiteboard and a teacher’s desk. Does the classroom offer alternate options for sitting? Are students allowed to stand while working? Is there a place within the classroom for students to go to when they feel dysregulated? Does the school provide various tools to help diverse learners learn in a way that works best for them? There is no “one size fits all”, but learning about what the current classroom environment looks like and your own child’s learning and sensory profiles can help you pinpoint the tools you can provide your child/ their teacher.

Visit the Child Mind Institute website to learn more about Sensory processing concerns: at https://childmind.org/article/quick-facts-on-sensory-processing/ .

3.     Consider expectations and if they are developmentally appropriate.

a.     Visit the CDC Website to find tips for fostering developmentally appropriate expectations:

                                               i.     Infants 0-1

                                             ii.     Ages 1-2 

                                            iii.     Ages 2-3

                                            iv.     Ages 3-5 

                                              v.     Ages 6-8 

                                            vi.     Ages 9-11 

                                           vii.     Ages 12-14 

                                         viii.     Ages 15-17 

4.     As #1 mentioned, your child’s teacher is one of the people who spends the most time with them and has their best interest at heart. Partner with the teacher to present a united front to your child. Note to your child that you and the teacher are working together to help make school feel easier.

5.     Utilize your school’s support services to come up with a plan. Almost all schools have some sort of student support system; oftentimes, the level of support and number of staff members dedicated to these duties vary based on the district (if it’s public) and school (private). Public schools do tend to have a more robust team in place and will have a system in place to help. In most schools, a learning specialist, counselor or other support team member will be able to work with you and your child’s teacher to come up with an action plan. Keep in mind that these services can be limited and external support may be required.

6.     Consider if external services are needed.  While schools do have student support systems in place, these services are often limited to short term, solution focused interventions. For those who have greater needs (consider persistent anxiety), considering seeking out the support of a licensed professional. Schools are often open to partnering with those external providers in order to provide a consistent treatment approach for the student.  

7.     Talk with your child about their day. Instead of asking them about the “good” and “bad” parts of their day, ask questions such as, “What parts of your day felt really easy today?” and “What parts of your day felt harder than you expected?”. By approaching your child in a nonjudgmental, open way, you may be able to gain a glimpse of what their day is like and which parts are more challenging for them.

8.     Ensure you are reinforcing to your child that they are not a “bad kid”. You can phrase these discussions along the lines of, “School is feeling hard for you right now. Grown-ups are going to figure out what is feeling so hard and how we can make it easier. You are learning and it WILL get better. You are a good kid, even if a grown-up is mad at you”.

If your child is experiencing a challenging time at school and you would like support, please feel free to contact Lotus & Lane Counseling, LLC.